“Tuesdays with Morrie” by Mitch Albom is undoubtedly one of those books that changed my life. I remember being in a similar state ten years ago when the pessimist in me took over; I felt lost and people had treated me unkindly with harsh words or wrongful actions. So whenever I feel like life is suffocating and I need a good cry, I would read this book. It anchors me and helps me put everything to perspective.
Albom describes his memories of his college professor of whom he revisited after hearing about his terminal illness on Nightline. Every week, he would visit his professor on Tuesdays and talk about the meaning of life until his professor’s passing. Almost every line in the book is quotable since Morrie imparts profound wisdom in simplicity.
This is one of the passages I highlight and read, reread, and memorize in my heart, especially when I go through difficult time.
“Take any emotion- love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I’m going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions- if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them- you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.
“But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, ‘All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.'”
(Page 103-104)
It’s helped me a lot of time although I certainly can’t claim to be the master of letting go. In fact with my personality, it is very hard to let go. But reading it again and again deepens my understanding of his words. I felt like Morrie was talking directly to me and telling me, “it’s okay to feel this way. Don’t run away from it. Embrace it and you will be able to let go.”
Morrie also believed in the power of love.
“Be compassionate,” Morrie whispered. “And take responsibility for each other. If we only learned those lessons, this world would be so much better a place.”
He took a breath, then added his mantra: “Love each other or die.” (Page 163)
Despite being short of breath and in pain, Morrie did the interview for Nightline. It takes courage and bravery to talk to the world as you suffer physically.
I really think if people were more considerate and compassionate, they would think twice when they say words that are hurtful. When you say negative things, there is a receiving end. It might break that person; not because that person is weak but because you mean a lot to that person and to hear it from someone they treasure dearly is like a stab at vulnerability. We show vulnerability to those who we trust and care about because we believe they also care for us and only have compassion and good intentions for us.
When unkind words are uttered, those views are shattered and the trust or bond is broken.
If we live by Morrie’s mantra, we will be strong enough to continue to love and forgive. I think it would take time which is okay- being open to the possibility is important.
Morrie was right, although he is not with us anymore, the love he had for the world lives on and those of us who have been touched by his life, will always remember him.
nanansa 